Giganet, an award-winning Internet Service Provider (ISP), is set to dominate the untapped vegan, vegetarian and health food demographic by switching from traditional fibre optic cabling, made from glass, to much more fibre intensive and vegan-friendly wholewheat pasta.
In a bold move to further disrupt the internet service industry, the Hampshire-based company has announced plans to rebrand as Pastanet, to raise awareness of their latest and vegan-friendly innovation. Wholewheat semolina-based telecommunications technology that hinges on the use of dried pasta.
Until now, Pastanet, had been connecting homes and businesses in the region to full fibre in honour of government-led plans to deliver nationwide gigabit-broadband by 2025. However, engineers discovered a way to deliver data at even faster speeds thanks to the high fibre content of wholewheat spaghetti.
Using a network of wholewheat spaghetti to deliver high-speed data over greater distances. The data travels down the pasta at the speed of light. This means you’re able to enjoy faster download speeds and a more reliable connection to the internet.
A spokesperson for Pastanet said: “Similar to how a potato has been proven to generate electricity, we’ve found pasta works the same for internet data.”
“The glass used in traditional full fibre optics refracts light by passing data with two streams. But thankfully due to the glycogen structure of pasta, it allows us to refract light waves at 6x the speed.”
The shift to connections using dried spaghetti has already received glowing feedback from test customers and the company are keen to maximise on the innovation by rebranding to a name synonymous with wholewheat pasta technology.
“Even though they’re much maligned in dieting circles, carbohydrates are proving crucial in our efforts to deliver faster internet speeds. The installation of our brand-new linguine lines has been in development for some time while our installation engineers further develop their skillsets to cope with the new technology.”
“We dig narrow trenches, usually in the pavement, and lay the strands of pasta into protective ducting. Once in place, we pour boiling water into the trenches to fuse the strands together with a drizzle of olive oil to stop it from sticking. It often only takes 20-30 minutes for the pasta to cool, and then residents can access our full fibre network, which we’ve affectionately dubbed ‘spaghetti junction’, whenever they feel the need for faster more reliable connection.”
Pasta is made from grain, one of the basic food groups in a healthy diet and has long been known as a good source of energy and fibre. Plus, in today’s food-conscious society, Pastanet wants everyone to know it’s 100% vegan friendly.
“We use dried pasta which contains no egg and is considerate to our vegan customers.”
But easy access and affordability of spaghetti has caused some DIY tech enthusiasts to try and install their own full fibre broadband using sub-standard pasta shapes.
“One of our engineers recently visited a property at SP4 GH1, where the owner had attempted to connect to their local exchange with a trail of mini sausages and spaghetti hoops. He couldn’t understand why his connection was offline. Another had attempted to speed up their old copper phone connection with ragu. They just don’t realise the science it takes to make it work.”
In efforts not to alienate customers who are sceptical of the new technology, Pastanet would like to reassure readers that while scientific work continues to test this new technology, they will continue to deliver great broadband at speeds of up to 900Mb/s via traditional full fibre methods. For full details on when Pastanet will be available in your area, Check your postcode at www.giganet.uk/pastanet